Anxiety pains

For the last 9 years I have chest pain in my left breast area, feels like someone stabbing from the inside-out.  I've read medical journals and journals of people with a similar discomfort and most of the time when EKG's are normal, normal pulse rate etc, its usually anxiety related.  I've been on benzodiazepenes (xanax) for over 4 years but I've been off it for the last 4 months and the pain is coming back stronger than ever.  I'm gonna look into relaxation and breathing techniques, cognitive behavioral therapy, and biofeedback training but most of those cost a lot of money.  People with Asperger's also tend to have chronic anxiety and I am one of those people.  I think a lot about what it has done to me and its affect on my life and before I was diagnosed it had ruined a lot of opportunities in my life, not so much after, but when you have something that is such a major part of you that you are not aware of for the first 29 years of your life it can really be a hindrance. 

Talking to walls

I started this blog with the intention on learning more about, well, myself.  Its hard to "spit" my thoughts, so writing them down became a better option.  Hope too many people aren't bored by it.  Oh well, here goes nothing.  Does anybody know how frustrating life would be if you just simply couldn't communicate with people?  How much harder would your job be, for instance, if you couldn't communicate with other people?  Nobody listens to me, people hear what they WANT to hear, not what actually is being said.  I don't get this about "normies" (neurotypicals-non-autistic).  I say things and people just don't, plain, hear me.  They try to hear some alternative meaning, or believe me to have some kind of ulterior motive or something.  They rarely ever hear what I'm actually saying.  What's worse is that people sometimes say I'm trying to be a smart-ass or that I'm trying to make them seem "dumb" and its simple because I listen intently and ask relevant questions.  I can't help it if I'm so literal of a person that my ego doesn't get mixed in with what I'm saying.  I guess when you put it in writing its different.  People believe what's written more than what's being said.  I think I would be better off in life if I just walked around being mute and holding a tablet pc, just txing everything.  Being smart does not help me relate to people..at all.  Sometimes, its like a curse.  I guess what I'm really trying to say is that people suck. Thank g-d for music, video games, movies and the internet or else I'd probably be dead or in prison, wishing I were dead.   Can anybody relate??